I was very happy to discover Gamers Experimentations this week. It's devoted to gay gamers (or "Gaymers"). I've spent a decent amount of time on GameFAQs' message boards, but somehow I wasn't connecting with a bunch of straight 14-year-olds (and won't John Ashcroft be relieved to hear that -- I simply must share my self-denial strategy with Michael Jackson).

Any message board which has threads like "Which Final Fantasy guy is the hottest?" gets my devotion. (Answer: Squall from FF8).

The toughest part of stumbling on a parody site like WhiteHouse.org is realizing you can't afford to buy one of everything in the gift shop. I've decided I need a coffee mug with a "Thought Criminal" slogan on it.

I caught a few minutes of Bush's press conference the other night, and I love watching him blow off questions like "Why do you and Cheney have to testify together?" I'd love to see something like this:

"Uh, we want to answer questions, Bill."

"Yeah, but why together."

"Next question. Tom?"

"Thank you, Mr. President. Why won't you answer Bill's question?"

"Next question. Diane."

"Thank you, Mr. President. Why are you ducking the question?"

Then Karl Rove steps in and says "This conference is over" before taking Bush home so he can play Splinter Cell deathmatch against the Secret Service. They let him win every time.